Your e-mails

 ** E-MAIL OF THE MONTH**

Hobbies

Hi everyone, I was just wondering what some of Trinity's players like to do with their spare time, away from football. I know Priestley likes to have dinner parties that he doesn't invite any of his team mates to, except that fat git Jamie, which is surely a mistake. I know Jordan likes to spend his spare time driving continually past Priestley's house on the off chance of getting invited in to one of his dinner parties. I know Tom Marston likes to spend most of his spare time getting sunburned in a variety of ways that really shouldn't be considered 'anecdotal'. I know Robbie DOESN'T like to spend his spare time drying the kit. I know Killer likes to spend his spare time wiping the muck off his eyes after he's fallen for the old binoculars trick AGAIN. I know Leroy and Rayon like to spend their spare time making t-shirts that only they wear and Marcus spends his, thinking of excuses for why he's not wearing one of them. I know Stevie spends his spare time being gormless. I know Macca likes to spend it wearing clothes that he has clearly grown out. I personally like to spend it having a big w*nk, but everyone uses their time in different ways don't they. So please let me know what you guys like to do, if you don't want to you’re an ignorant set of c*nts!

Mike, Selby

Interesting e-mail Mike.  There is more to life than football with hobbies playing a large part.  Readers e-mail Trinity FC Online telling us what you do in your spare time, other than football.  For bringing up such an interesting topic  you've been awarded e-mail of the month! 

Squeaky b*m time!

It's looking tight at the bottom of Senior A with Stanningley, Trinity, Old Rovers and Collegians (my team) battling to beat the drop.  Stanningley look favourites to go down but who will join them.  Old Rovers are capable of getting a few good results so they'll probably survive so it's between Trinity and Collegians.  Our Collegians' players have been battling the drop for a few years and we've demonstrated the character to survive.  Trinity are good but have they got the bottle?  It's squeaky b*m time!

Gaunty, Huddersfield

Only time will tell who will beat the drop.  It promises to be an exciting end to the season.

Please reply with your telephone number.

Due to the sudden death of my husband General Abacha the former head of state of Nigeria in June 1998, I have been thrown into a state of hopelessness by the present administration.  I have lost confidence with anybody within my country. I got your contacts through personal research, and had to reach you through this medium. I will give you more details when you reply.

Due to security network placed on my daily affairs I can’t visit the embassy so that is why I have contacted you. My husband deposited $12.6million dollars with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now till we communicate. I will be happy if you can receive this funds and keep it safe I assure you 20% of this fund. I will need your telephone/mobile numbers so that we can commence communication.

Hajia Mariam

Though we sympathise with your plight you might be wiser to go to the authorities for assistance, rather than the website of a football team in the Yorkshire Old Boys' League.  Let's hope you recover from your 'state of hopelessness'!  

Ref: UK/2007/14

This E-mail is to inform you that you emerge a winner of $2,500,000 USD, on our online draws which was played on the 20th of March, 2008.  For further Information contact our claims Agent Sir Moro Williams(Esq) via email: rowchams2007@hotmail.com

Freeman Johnson

Trinity FC Online don't tend to enter online draws.  Are you sure we're the lucky winners?

Update

I've just had a lovely big w*nk, have any of you guys just indulged in your hobby?

Mike, Selby

Too much information has probable been given there Mike, but thanks for your update anyway.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

This email is to inform you that your e-mail emerged a winner with a consolation prize 950,000.00USD , in the BRITISH AMERICAN TOBACCO LOTTO online draws which was played recently. For the release of your funds contact:

Name Mr. Edward Evans
E-mail Address: claimwinlive@live.com
Tel:+44-703-191-6602

David Cole

Wow if $950,000.00 is the consolation prize your first prize must be huge!  However as stated earlier Trinity FC Online don't tend to enter online draws.  So are you sure we're the lucky winners?

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Thanks for keeping everyone informed of the latest exciting developments.

** Red Card **

Double Dating

I am beginning to think there is a secret clique at Trinity which I am not part of! After the game the other Saturday I asked Gardiner if he had any plans and if not did he fancy a couple that evening? His reply was he would be heading back to Manchester for a date. I then focused my attention on other members of the team including Mullers, getting similar replies of "I’m busy etc". Understanding everybody had made plans I headed out on my own to Chapel Allerton. To my horror on arriving in my taxi I spotted what appeared to be the biggest head I’ve ever seen walking with an Al Murray lookalike! Yes you have guessed it, its only Mullers and Gardiner on a night out! Could someone please give me advice on how to get into this illustrious social clique?

Mark Ryan

Suggesting that two of the most well-respected members of the Trinity football club would deliberately deceive anybody is well out of order.  As a result you've been awarded the red card.  You’re off!